Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Z.J.: Yes I Am Fortunate I have a Character With a Z Name


 Z is for Z.J.

   So I go out not with a bang but with a fizzle, but at this point I'm not too heartbroken. I am just very glad that I finished and I can go back to blogging at my convenience .

  Anyway...Z.J. the last of my four but not the least. In fact Z.J. is one of my favorite to write because he does have a childlike aspect to him. He spent his early childhood in an orphanage where everyone was focused on getting adopted, and to get adopted you needed to appeal to people. No one wants a spoiled little child to adopt they want a child that impresses them. Z.J. focused on being well mannered and everyone liking him.

  Then once he was adopted he didn't change too much, his adoptive parents are very quiet and encouraged Z.J.'s love of music and the arts. They got him into the best music and art programs they could and let him have the freedom to decide what he wanted to do, and where his passions were. They do however love the fact that he was well mannered and quiet because that fits in well with their lifestyle.

  Sometimes Z.J. does feel a little uncomfortable because people obviously know that he isn't his parents biological son, he does however speak fluent Spanish having learned from the age of 5 or 6 when he moved in with the Sol family. Still his parents never want him to feel adopted and they are very good at doing that. Z.J. has never for a second felt that his parents don't love him as if he was their child. He is aware however that his parents did lose their biological child before it even had a chance to live so he doesn't want to ever disappoint them.

  So there we have it kids....my A to Z journey has come to a close. I thank you for reading, and following and I will see you again soon.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Yielding: Why I almost gave up the A-Z Challenge

Y is for Yield

  Okay, don't get me wrong I have enjoyed doing the A to Z challenge this month. It has helped me think about the depths of my story, my characters, my setting it's even helped me double my followers.

   However the A to Z challenge has also really confined me in some ways. I have not written anything of my own in almost a month because my brain has been so focused on writing this and coming up with new things. My attention span has been dwindling and I've been unable to focus on anything. It's even a chore for me to get these short little posts over and done with.

  I wake up go to work, come home, try to have a normal life and somewhere along the line I have to remember to write one of these posts. By the time I get home from work I hardly want to do anything at all let alone writing an insignificant post that hardly anyone sees and even less people actually care enough to read.

  It's just really frustrating because I want to finish the challenge but I want to be able to write my own stories. It probably doesn't help that I am stressed out about other things, but usually writing has a way to de-stress and calm me but not recently.

  Sometimes I even think that me doing the A to Z challenge has helped more than hinder. What if after this is over I still can't open my mind enough? When I go back to blogging when I want to and not when I feel like I have to what if my creativity still doesn't come back?

   I've been trying so hard to see this through but it really has hindered me and I will be so happy when this is over. I love to blog...but my way on my own time.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

X....No Cute Title for This Either

X is for Xenogenesis

Xenogenesis is a generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent

  First of all let me say I started this post on 4/27 but it won't be posted until 4/28....mostly because I have gotten caught up in the series Once Upon A Time and have been watching that for the past two days. I got home from seeing a play tonight and went "Crap, it's Saturday....I need to do my A to Z post." So here it is.

  A generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent....well that is my four Demi-Angels. Just look at that Demi-Angels....they aren't angels and they aren't human so therefore they are truly on a basic level entirely unlike their parents. They are not humans like their mothers and they are not angels like their fathers. They have power over an element like their fathers but not all of them have their fathers element.

  Marissa has power over water and Uriel has power over Earth, whereas Gabriel is the Water and Gia has power over Earth.

  Also unlike their fathers each of them has another active power. Marissa is telekinetic  Z.J. is telepathic, Penny is a shape shifter, and Gia is an Empath. None of their fathers directly have these powers, yes because they are immortal beings not of this world they can conjure powers they need but none of them have specific powers like their children.

   They also each try so hard to be unlike their mothers, yes they all do a bad job of being unlike them but they do try. Marissa doesn't want to abandon anyone like her mother has, Penny doesn't want to treat anyone like her mother taught her, Gia doesn't want to die like her mother, and Z.J. wants to be strong like his mother wasn't.

   So really there are a lot of shades of  Xenogenesis in my characters.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Women: Hear Me Roar and Such

W is for Women

  One of my favorite quotes

     Yes I write strong female characters, I will never write anything but strong female characters. My female characters stand up for themselves, are in charge of their bodies, their lives, they have strong voices, and they can fight for themselves. Even my female character with all their faults are stronger for them because we all have faults but we can either deny them and let them rule us or use them and control them to our advantage.

   That is what strength truly is, knowing who you are and being better for it. It took me a long time to become comfortable with who I am, to like who I am and once I did I finally was able to believe all the good things that my friends and people around me told me. I know I'm not the best person, I am a bit of a control freak, loud, pushy, obsessive, a know it all, a bisexual girl with no luck in romance, who has mommy issues and abandonment issues. I use those to my advantage, I don't let anyone control my weaknesses because I know what they are. 

  Each of my main female characters is strong for a different reason. Marissa is strong because like me she knows who she is. She also is intelligent and won't let anyone make her feel inferior without her consent. Penny is strong because she likes sex, and enjoys being a women and controlling her own body. She decides when, and where and with who, and she won't let anyone else tell her she can't. She's also fiery and won't let anyone quench that fire. Gia is strong because she won't let anyone force her into something she doesn't want  or that isn't whats best for her. She also won't let anyone else bully another women, or her female friends. 

   Z.J. is also quite the feminist, and yes I am using that word correctly. He respects women, and he looks at his female friends as stronger than most men he has met. The four are on an even playing field and Z.J. doesn't ever treat the three girls like they are anything but his equals. Yes it can be hard for him because he is such an introvert and the three girls are such strong personalities and yes Penny and Gia like to bust his balls a little but never in a condescending way. As many people don't understand feminism isn't about putting men down it's all about equality.

  That my dear followers is why I will write strong female characters. But until we don't need feminism anymore my answer will be just like Joss's.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Violent Ends

V is for Violence

   Not every book can be about the happy puppy that finds a boy and lives happily ever after. It seems like now all Young Adult books need to have a lot of violence....from the Hunger Games to Harry Potter even Twilight has violence in it too. Seems like along with a love story books now, especially fantasy or YA books need to have some kind of violence or ass kicking.

  I guess I am no different because all of my characters not only have powers that they use to fight, but each of them has a weapon that they master as well. I don't really have a problem with violence but the again I am not going to be excessive with it either.

  I can't even explain my take on violence in my story because in book one violence isn't that huge yet. Yes it exists in the first book because there is a death of a character in a violent manner and from book one the violence only gets worse,

  The worst part about this post is that I can't even go into the extent or amount of violence because I would be spoiling so much! That is always a really hard line for me with this blog, talking about my book without spoiling too much, sharing without giving you all  the details so that you still want to buy the book that I hope to publish.

  But back to violence. I don't plan on giving long excessive descriptions of killing, or things like that because lets face it, its a lot more fun when the author leaves things up to the readers imagination. The again I am not going to leave it so open that people get the wrong ideas because sometimes that can make fans unhappy.

   It's a fine line that authors dance.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


U is for Unipara

 Unipara means a woman having given birth only once.

 3 out of 4 of my main characters mother's are Unipara and I wanted to take some time to talk about the moms since I talked about the dads.

   It's actually a lot easier for me to write issues with moms because I have a lot of my own mommy issues. In fact I am almost positive that some of my own mommy issues come up in each of my four characters. So let me start at the beginning with the names of my characters moms

    Trista West - Marissa and Eli's mother, still living

    Deirdre Teman- Penny's mother, still living

   Elena Aston- Z.J.'s biological mother, deceased

   Valerie Norris- Gia's mother, deceased.

    Each of characters reflects one of my central issues with my own mother.

      Marissa- Marissa most of the time just feels like she isn't good enough for her mother. Trista is very successful, and so is Eli and Marissa wonders if she'll ever be as good as her mother or her brother. Which is why she is always trying so hard, because she feels if she doesn't she will never get her mothers attention and will therefore never get her mothers love. I have the same issue, I want my mother's approval and I am never going to get it but that doesn't stop me from trying.

   Penny- Penny doesn't have a mom she has a friend. I wish my mother and I could be friends, I wish I could talk to her about more things happening in my life, but whenever I do she is very critical of how I act or what I am doing. Penny's mom is the opposite which I used to illustrate what can happen with parents who are too much like friends and not enough like parents. 
Gia- Gia's mom hid a lot from her daughter before she died. She was never open with Gia because she was afraid of reveling too much and it turned Gia into someone who has trouble sharing, and disclosing, and being vulnerable. Gia only ever saw her mother holding back, which is the same with my mom. My mother had an abusive father and she in turn became abusive.

Z.J.- Z.J. didn't know his birth mom, she died having him and he was immediately put in an orphanage. Here is also where I look like a bad person. Being abused physically yes but mostly mentally by my mother has  hardened me to her so much that sometimes I wish she would just leave. Some days it ranges from her and my dad getting divorced, to her just leaving and not coming back, and yes even her dying. I think I projected some of my horrible wishes into my story and gave Z.J. no knowledge of his biological mother so he could avoid anything bad.

   So yea...this post about how most of my characters mother's are unipara women has turned very depressing and heavy so I will post again tomorrow and I'll make it lighter.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Try Me!

T is for Try

   Sometimes I don't think people realize how hard writers have to try every single day. My favorite quote about writing is...

“Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

  If that isn't trying hard I don't know what is. Every day on top of everything else a writer does like work, or go to school, have a social life, do chores, they also have to come home insert themselves into a totally different reality. They have to live not just in their own mind but in the minds of each of their characters, and they have to know these people better than they know themselves. 

   Sometimes I am so grateful for my acting background because it makes keeping track of characters a lot easier. I know how to be two people at once...yes I realize that makes me sound totally crazy but being an actor I have to be a character on stage while somehow still being me. I can tell you right now, as a writer and an actor it helps to compartmentalize who I am. I keep my actor in one part, my writer in another, my characters in a different part and I can choose which one I want to use at which time or release the flood gates and let the crazy use all of them at once.

   All I do on a daily basis is try. As anyone who struggles with depression can tell you every day is a struggle , every day you have to try so hard not to get mired down with the disease you have. I try every day not just to write, but to get out of bed, smile, and live.

  All I have to show for me trying every day is my life....and I am damn proud of that.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Stuck in a Rut

S is for Stuck

  Don't look for any inspirational or insightful posts tonight. I have been working a lot, my sleep schedule is messed up, and I still have to shower and get to sleep for my 8am shift tomorrow morning. Thank god I have two days off to recover after tomorrow.

   What I am going to talk about tonight is about being stuck in a rut, which is what I am in right now.

  I can hardly think of two thoughts to string together in life and writing. I have had my draft open in Word for two days and I can't think of a thing to write or say. I have really just been stuck and I really don't have anything else to say.

  What would be nice is if anyone could give me some encouragement or something to help me in this rut.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Regret Me Not

R was originally going to be for Re-write.

I was going to talk about how the editing and re-write process is the stage that I am dreading...dreading dreading dreading. I have already been through one edit in which I went all the way back to the beginning of my book and changed the Point of View from first to third person. So that is what I was going to talk about but considering the mood I'm in...

R is for Regret

  We all know that regret is a base human emotion. If anyone says they don't regret anything then they are lying or deep in denial. I know that regret is also something that you can accept and overcome but it is a bitch.

  As a writer I regret many things; books I haven't finished, writing I gave up on, opportunities I missed, or even a day I go without writing. It is a struggle sometimes to get over those daily regrets and continue to write but if I let regret hold me down I would never get anywhere. Sometimes its even hard to talk about things that I regret if I haven't gotten over them yet, or if I still struggle with it. Some regrets can come back and come back and continue to plague you.

   Regret also plays a big part in my characters lives in all of my books. Each character has something that they regret. In fact one of their trainers specifically deals with regret and helping the heart to heal. I don't want to spoil their regrets because it really plays a big part in learning about each character but I can say that their regrets are not exactly what people might guess. Getting over regret and learning how to handle it is a big step for my characters.

  It's funny because I can write about how they can deal with it and get over it when I myself am plagued with so many regrets I am still trying to get over.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Quad- Yea I don't have a cute title for this one

Q is for Quadral

Quadral means in four parts.

  My book is very much about balance and how four different friends, with different strengths and weaknesses somehow come together to make one functioning unit not to mention family.

  The four Demi-Angels each represent one of the big four. Like elements, directions, seasons and the big four Archangels...they even represent the four Hogwarts houses, which I didn't do on purpose I just kind of realized one night.

   It breaks down like this.

                         Marissa- Water- Winter- West- Uriel- Ravenclaw

                         Gia- Earth- Autumn- North- Gabriel- Gryffindor

                         Penny- Fire- Summer- South- Michael- Slytherin

                         Z.J.- Air- Spring- East- Raphael- Hufflepuff

   The four friends even have four different weapons that they wield and different strengths when it comes to school and life. When I started I was adamant about making sure that even though I am dealing with a Quadral I wanted the four parts to fit together to make a whole and I think I have done that well with my main four. Their faults and strengths line up with each others so that the four pieces of the puzzle just fit. Sometimes it seems like they need to be forced but just give it time and the final product will be four people together as one.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Penny For Your Thoughts

P is for Penny

   Once again I am going to try not to tell you all what I already posted so I am going to talk about how hard it is for me to write a character like Penny.

    Yes I did base her off one of my best friends which makes it even harder to write. My best friend can be somewhat sensitive and sometimes easily offended. She also has rose colored glasses on when it comes time to look in the mirror. So when I am writing her character and just keeping her true to what she would do or how she would act she can get offended.

    So sometimes I worry about treading lightly but then I remember I'm a writer and it's my job to stick to my truth and not give it up for anyone else. If I can air out my character flaws in Marissa then my best friend should be able to deal with what I write as a part of her character.

   Penny is the textbook example of an only child, she is the most boy crazy and interested in sex, she can be a little shallow, she doesn't like not getting her way but she is loyal, loving, kind, funny, talented, an an amazing friend in general.

   We all have to take the good with the bad. We are all like two sides of a coin we all have our good points and we all have our bad ones. No one wants a character that is all good at all times because that is 1. boring 2. unrealistic, and 3. No one would learn or grow in a story if that is true. Each of the characters has their bad points that they need to learn from and each has their good ones that make them likable and relate-able.

   She can get as mad at me as she wants, in the end it is a character not totally her so if she reads too much into it maybe she has finally taken the Rose colored glasses off.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Its An OTP Thing

O is for OTP

   As any of my shipper friends know OTP stands for One True Pair. So why am I talking about shipping and things that could be involved in FanFiction writing....well for two reasons really.

      1. I write fanfiction and I have many ships and OTP's
      2. I will feel like I have truly made it as an author when my fans start shipping and writing fanfiction

   As far as OTP's for my story go I don't want to give anything away, right now the only canon OTP I will share with you is Rico and Eli who I call Reli because like all those celebrities they need a combined named.   I will be very interested to see all the other pairings that my readers and fans come up with and I will welcome almost all of them. There are very few pairings that I will outright say I dislike because I don't like to stifle anyone's creativity or ideas. Now instead of continuing to talk about my book I am going to list off some of my favorite books and or movies and TV shows and then list off my OTP's.

  Harry Potter OTP's

            Ron and Hermione - Yea I was one who wanted that from day one and I knew it was going to happen.

           Harry and Luna - I never liked Hinny...sent the wrong message to me. I really liked pairing Harry and Luna together because I think they really understand each other. Harry is the first person in the series we really see reach out to Luna and I think that really says something.

           Draco and Ginny - I get weird looks for this one all the time. Draco and Ginny is so obscure in most HP fan circles that they don't even make it into favorite couples or anything. Personally this is my favorite and I have shipped it since I was in High School. I love the Romeo and Juliet aspect and I really think Ginny would be able to teach Draco a lot and he would be the fiery type of guy that Ginny needs. I have written many a D/G fanfic if anyone wants to read them let me know.

           Draco and Harry -  Yes I love Drarry! I have read so many Drarry stories and some of them I could actually see happening. I love the play on the line between love and hate with Draco and Harry which is why this pairing works for me.

      Avatar The Last Airbender OTP's

           Katara and Aang: I wanted Katara and Aang to be together, they were just too cute for words. It was pretty much known as soon as Katara went to Madam Woo in the Fortuneteller episode. If she had ended up with anyone else it just wouldn't have felt right.

          Toph and Sokka: This is my number one most favorite Avatar OTP...Tokka for Life!! I think their humor, their wit and their attitudes just fit and compliment each other. There would never be a dull moment with these two and I know everyone is going to yell about Linzin and how it would be incest but who says that Sokka is Lin's father?? I totally buy that Toph didn't tell Sokka her feelings because she wanted to see him happy with Suki and she tried to have a relationship with someone else which resulted in Lin and then Sokka and she got together later in life.....and yes I have thought about this way too much!

     Buffy OTP's

         Buffy and Angel - No one and I mean NO ONE will ever sell me on Spike and Buffy. I will go down with this ship! They are soulmates and meant to be as seen by Angel's one moment of true happiness. No other women he had sex with made him turn evil...why? Because he was only truly 100% happy with Buffy and she clearly didn't love ANYONE as much as Angel

         Willow and Tara - The cutest sweetest OTP...there isn't much I can say about this it's perfection

        Xander and Anya - He's a little clueless and can be shy she's blunt and straightforward they were made for each other. No one else could handle Anya except Xander and no one would understand Xander like Anya.

  Acceptable Buffy Ships

               Buffy and Faith - Yes its a little dark and twisted but I like it.

              Willow and Oz - Willow's first love, I hated Oz for the way it ended but until then I thought they were cute. Willow talked too much and Oz hardly talked at all and they complimented each other well.

  Well here my obsessive OTP rant comes to a close. If anyone who reads this could also go and read my N post that would be awesome. I worked really hard on that one and would love some feedback.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Name...What's In It?

*Deep breath*

N is for Names

  Okay readers, be warned...this is going to be a long one.

  Why you might ask, because like many other authors I think names should have meaning. In fact my readers will be able to get huge insights into my characters long before the plot revels them if they just look up the meanings of their names. J.K. Rowling (she's my favorite author so yes I talk about her a lot) has talked a lot about her name meanings and how she likes for her characters to have names with meaning. Well I like the same thing but here is the thing though...my characters started out with almost totally different names. In fact the naming of my four main characters went through four stages and I am going to break each stage down for all of you so you can see the crazy I go through.

  Stage one Character Full Names

         Elena Marie Wilson (Lena)

         Lillian Ann Brandon (Lily)

        Penelope Ophelia Toph (Penny)

        Jason Paul Andreus (J.P.)

 Stage One: Stage one was basically me asking all my friends who they the characters are based off of what names they would like. Elena and Lily were left over names from a joint story I had been writing with an old friend so since I liked them I used them. Penny's name we wanted originally to spell POT as a joke about what a liberal tree hugging hippie her mother was and Paul was kind of an inside joke between my friends and I. So at first the names didn't have much meaning but that was going to change.

Stage two Character First Names





  Stage Two: I decided to focus on the first names. Elena got changed to Kendria which has a connection to water. Lilly got changed to Gia which up until I started this post I thought was a variant of Gaia which means earth. I stuck with Penelope because I liked it and I figured I could give her a meaningful middle name or something. J.P. got switched to Zephyr because that was the only male air name I really liked. I didn't like the idea of people calling my main character Ken so here we are at stage two and I still wan't pleased with my names so...

    Stage three Full Character Names

               Marissa Emera West (Rissa Riss)

               Lillian Gia Norris (Lily)

               Enya Penelope Teman (Penny)

              Zephyr Jason Sol, birthname Aston (Z.J.)

     Stage Three: I finally looked into all of the name meanings first middle and last.  I did want to keep Gia as her first name but my friend didn't really like it so I switched it back to Lily. So here's how they break down.

          Marissa-of the water Emera- Industrious Leader West- Self explanatory

         Lily- after the flower  Gia- What I thought meant earth Norris- North

        Enya- Fire Penelope- Means weaver but some people also think it means clever Teman- from the south

       Zephyr- Air Jason- Healer Sol- means sun but this is the surname of his adoptive parents. Aston which is Z.J.s birth surname means East

  Stage four (which up until now I thought was going to be the final stage) is basically the same except I switched Lily for Gia. I was getting Lily and Penny confused too often so I decided to solve the problem. Now my names look like...

                 Marissa Emera West
                 Gia Lillian Norris
                 Enya Penelope Teman
                 Zephyr Jason (Aston) Sol

   Now I see I am going to have to have a stage five and rename Gia once again. I'm really not sure what I want to change it to either. My friend suggested Tara but I don't know if I like that for her, its not original enough. So if anyone has a female name that means Earth or something like it please leave it in the comments below.

     Stage Five: ????



Monday, April 15, 2013

Main Character Street

M is for Marissa

M is also for Main Character

  The main character of my series is Marissa West, but rest assured I am not going to be writing about her....well not really. I already wrote a whole character profile on Rissa so I won't repeat anything that I've already said. What I do want to talk about as far as Marissa is concerned is self insertion.

  So many writers are against self insertion and I know when I finally do get published I will probably get nailed to a wall but I self insert characters into a story. As I said in my B post when I started writing I was told "Write what you know, write what you see, write what you love." I know who I am, I know all the ups and downs and the good and bad things about myself so why not insert them into a main character. If I know  who I am then why not create a character in my image and add or subtract traits I do or don't have? I have so many of my friends tell me who strong I am so why shouldn't I put that into my main character? I am a feminist at heart and I believe we need strong female characters, more of them, until people see women can be as strong as men.

  I will defend my self insertion of myself and my friends to the ground. Creating believable characters is hard and writing is hard enough so why not use any way of making it easier we can. Anyone who does want to attack me I will just look them straight in the eye and ask them how they feel about J.K. Rowling and anyone who says they are a fan I will inform them that Jo put a lot of herself into Hermione, and her friends and people she knew became characters in the story as well. So if one of the most successful writers of my generation isn't against it I don't see how any other author can turn their nose up at it.

   I have made some distinctions between myself and Marissa which are very important. Marissa is much more focused on school than I am, she has stage fright and I don't, she has some daddy issues and for the most part my father and I have a great relationship. Looks wise Rissa is also very different, she looks the way I hope to look maybe someday but not right now. So while I might have self inserted with Marissa there are still plenty of ways that I am not like her.

  Anyway I think any author who doesn't put a little of themselves in their characters is either lying or in denial.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

All You Need is....

L is for Love Story

When you are writing a book for a certain demographic you really need to include certain things and one of them is yes...a love story.

 For those of you who are not fans of the love stories you can breath deeply knowing that my love story really doesn't take place until book 2 Of 4. I can also assure you that the love story isn't the main focal point of the second book. some books make the mistake of making the love story between two characters too important and it takes away from the main issue.

  My love story is going to compliment the action that is already happening in the book and play into it in ways the my readers hopefully wont see until I want them too. The really weird thing is that I am a hopeless romantic in every ,way except in my own writing. I guess i am more willing to have my characters go through the real ups and downs of relationships than I am to even thinking about them. I do have some hopeless romantic things in store for my love story, but not until it has been through the honeymoon stage at least.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Kill Kill Kill?

K is for Killing Characters

  Okay any future readers of mine, be warned I have no problem killing off characters. Don't get me wrong I don't go around killing characters just because people like them, or just because I can but I will kill characters.

  Not going to give away who or when or why of course but I can say that in all four of my four planned books there is a character that dies, and they get more serious as the series progresses.

  My thought about the idea of killing off a character really roots itself in Twilight. One of the reasons I disliked Breaking Dawn so much was because of the nice neat little bow Stephanie Myers ended her book with. I think all authors can agree to get to the happy ending you need to suffer, and I think the only people who suffered after those stories were some of her readers. I know it was supposed to be for Tweens but look at how many people J.K. Rowling killed off before her book series was over. I firmly believe that the "Fred Weasley" of the Twilight series needed to be killed, someone that was a fan favorite and would have affected everyone else without it being a main character.

   Maybe it just shows what a nerd, or weirdo, or fan, or author I am but character death weighs heavily on my mind. If you are going to do it there has to be a reason, and someone who is going to grow from that characters death. If you aren't going to kill characters when you should then you need to make sure that they deserve their happy ending.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

It's not the destination its the Journey

J is for Journey

  This is the post where I start to talk about the journey I've been on as far as my writing. I've come a long way from my first book that I started to write in 8th grade. In fact I spent most of my High School career writing my first book that I didn't even get finished. It was a female driven LOTR type story but I got stuck on the gigantic war chapter and it just fizzled out. Now that I go back and read it, its kinda like that horrible first book everyone has to write to get it out of the way. I was trying way too hard to be the next J.K. Rowling or J.R.R. Tolkien and it didn't work out.

  Most people know why my second story got shelved but just in case anyone doesn't I'll explain. I was writing a vampire story because I have been obsessed with them since I was 12 and saw Interview with a Vampire. My vampire book was very witty, made fun of vampires in pop culture (yes even as a fan of Twilight I can make fun of it, my twilight parodies prove that.) I loved writing it because there was more to it than meets the eye and one day when I'm published I think it could bring vampires back.

  Then there is my current book which as my few followers know is about the children of the Big Four Archangels, Demi-Angels. Yes I can't figure out a better name for them...but names is for the N day. Just a warning my N post will probably be pretty long because I have had a huge battle with names. As far as this spot on my journey I feel good about where I am. If I keep working hard I could have my first draft done by the end of the summer. It's just hard because life happens around you and effects your writing journey. I wish I didn't have to work or make money or have a life outside of my little writing world. I wish I could just lock myself in a room and just focus on writing but I can't. Learning how to balance is part of the journey too and that is also a lesson the four Demi-Angels have to learn in their first year of college when they find out who they really are.

  See even in my world somehow it all comes full circle...that's my kind of journey.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ink Me Up

 I is for Ink

    So one of my first ideas that has stuck all the way through was the idea that each of the Demi-Angels has been the idea that they have the sigils of their fathers on their inner wrists much like tattoos but they are more like birthmarks. (fig 1.)

    No mortal can see them so they don't have to worry about people asking questions, but even if they could they would just be able to explain them away as tattoos. To give you an idea of what I am talking about the sigils of the Big Four are below. Ariel is Uriel it just depends on the translation and that one is green, Raphael's is gold, Gabriel's is Blue and Michael's is red.

    This books means so much to me that I even got Uriel's sigil tattooed on my foot (fig 2.). I did base Marissa off myself, Uriel is the angel I have looked to in the past who has gotten me through a lot so this tattoo is special. It was also my first one and before anyone asks the reason I got it on my foot instead of my wrist was because Uriel is associated with the Earth chakra which is located three feet below your feet and I couldn't get a tattoo there so I got the next best thing!

(fig 1.)

(fig 2.)

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


H is for Homo-Erectus

 That is the name of the gay club that belongs to the West Family. Eli decided when he was in college that he wanted to open up a gay club down in Hampden so with his business degree and some money he had been saving he started what turned out to be a very successful business. It is one of the hottest places to be and is open and inviting to all people not just the LGBT community.

  I don't even remember where I came up with the idea to have Eli own a gay club but I can say that I love that I did that. I love it so much that if and when I get published I actually want to open up Homo-Erectus in Baltimore. I love going to gay clubs, and having a good time and I want to make this one a reality. This club is meant to look like a New York back alley, very shabby chic and more than meets they eye.

  It is really crazy how something that doesn't exist can appear so vividly in ones head. I know exactly how I want this club to look, the decor, the lights, the bar, everything in this club already exists in my head and my favorite part? The phone greeting..."Hello, thank you for calling Homo-Erectus the Homo home away from home. This is (name) speaking, how can I make your day more gay?"

  Oh yea, you have no idea how excited I am going to be when I can actually try to make this a reality!

Monday, April 8, 2013

G....ia Aren't You Glad to See Me!

G is for Gia

   Gia is a very complex character and she is probably the hardest to write because the person she was based off of and I are no longer friends. She was originally based off my friend Sam but now she has become a fusion of a whole lot of my female friends.

   Gis is the most reluctant of the four Demi-Angels because of how her life has already turned out. She lost her mother when she was very young and has been raised by her mother's parents. She has missed out on a lot of things because of their age, she also never asked for many of the things all children want to do because she didn't want to make her grandparents feel bad if that did have to say no. When Gia moved back to Maryland she and Marissa met and the two have been best friends ever since. They are very similar but at the same time incredibly different. Marissa is the more loquacious of the two friends, and the more social. Growing up the only "friends" Gia had were her teammates from the various sports she plays but she never really saw them outside of things that related to the team. Most people in High School thought Marissa was limiting herself by hanging around with Gia, that Rissa could have been the most popular girl in school if it wasn't for her loner type friend.

   Thankfully Marissa ignored all of them and stuck by Gia and still does. Gia finally got to do some of the fun things she missed out on as a child when she got close to not only Marissa but Eli and Rico as well. The four of them went to Disney world, and did other things that made them all feel like kids again.

  I enjoy writing Gia because she is so different from Marissa in contrast. When you have a character like Rissa you have to have a foil for her and Gia is just that.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Making Up My Days

Sorry everyone...I missed two days so I am going to make up my E and F today.

E is for Eli

   Eli West is one of my most important secondary characters. Eli is Marissa's half brother, they have different fathers and no Eli is not a Demi-Angel like his sister. Eli is the one who has been raising his sister since their mother left, he has been the father and mother to his sister growing up. Eli is probably one of my favorite characters to write because he's funny and sweet. Eli is a combination of two of my favorite people in my life my brother and my best friend. He has all of the best qualities from the two of them he is someone Marissa trusts and can talk to just like my brother and Brock are to me. So I'll give you all a little overview of Eli

Full Name: Elijah David West

Number of People who call him Elijah: 0

Hometown: Hampden Maryland

Career: Owner of the popular club Homo-Erectus

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Rico Caleb Moreno

Grauated from: University of Maryland University College

Favorite person: A tie between his sister and his boyfriend

F is for Family

  One lesson I've learned and I cherish is the lesson that family doesn't just mean the people related to you by blood. Sometimes the bond of the heart are even stronger. I myself have some family issues and I don't always feel the closest to them but I have created my own family out of my friends. One of the big themes of my book is the bond between the four Demi-Angels and how they make a family unit out of each other.

 Each of them is missing something from their family life and they are able to find it in each other much they way I have with most of my friends. My friends are my family and that is very true for Marissa, Penny, Gia and Z.J. They live together, train together, face some of the toughest situations of their lives together and the support each other, that is everything a family is.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Daddy Can You Hear Me?

D is for Daddy Issues

 Welcome to my D day where I talk about my first books central problem...well at least for Marissa.

All four of my main characters have Daddy Issues. All four of them have never met their birth fathers and theirfore each harbor resentment towards them. Marissa is the one with the biggest paternal chip on her shoulder which I decided to make her serious flaw that she has to get over to grow in the first book (Thank you Ashley Nixon) Still each character has their own reason for their Daddy Issue

Marissa: Grew up being raised by a single mom and than by her older brother. Feels neglected and unwanted by her father

Penny: Grew up with a mother emotionally scarred from the loss of her love, who treated her like a friend and not a child, had no real parental figure to look up to and learn from.

Gia: Grew up with her grandparents missing out on some of the things kids got to do with their parents, not wanting to ask her grandparents for fear that they would think he was ungrateful

Z.J.: Grew up in an Orphanage until he was around 5, has two adoptive parents wh he is very close to but he feels like he can't ask them about his real parents because they just won't know or it might hurt them.

   Out of the four of them Marissa is the one you feel the least sorry for, and in the book even more so, yet she is the one with the biggest axe to grind that when a situation arises she begins to break down bit by bit until she either has to face her Daddy Issues and grow from them or turn and run.

  I'm really excited to see where I can take this as far as characters and the lessons they can get out of the first book. I'm also pushing myself because my relationship with my dad is, for the most part,  really good one. So I am drawing a little on my own issues with my mother and spinning them to fix Marissa but still using them as motivation.

  I can't wait to get more into this because while everyone likes a Daddy's Little Girl....they like it even more when she goes rebel.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Character...you can't fake it

C is for Character

    My two sense for today is about characters and character building. I know dome authors struggle with creating characters but I am very lucky when I am able to say I am not one of them. I have been told that I have a very natural ability to create a character that people both like and believe. I wish I could take more credit but I really can't. Most of my characters are based off of someone I know or a few people. I take parts of their personalities and meld them with the parts they don't have to create a character based on them.

   For example Marissa is a character I based off of myself, she has my passion for books and school, devotion to friends, close relationship to her brother and need to be the bossy correct know it all. However her stage fright, daddy issues, and privilege are all things that I added to make a totally new person.

  Z.J. is based on my best friend Kirby, Penny is based on my best friend Addie and Gia is a mixture of many of my female friends while Eli is half my brother and half my "gay husband" Brock. The conversations that the characters have in the book are a lot of the time based on real conversations that my friends and I had. I like to take as much of my real life and infuse it into my books as possible. My books are a very urban fantasy because they have a real life setting and time but a fantastical background so it has to feel real. If at any time I think I am not being real I might just have a serious problem...well at least from a character stand point. Because I don't really think I'm the daughter of an Archangel.

......Or do I?

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Boston....I mean Baltimore!

 Now that I have told you the idea behind my book I can share my setting and of course there is a story behind it.

   Originally I set my story in Boston Mass. because I have some gay characters that are very important to my story and I wanted it to be set in a state where tolerance and equality existed. So I set my story in Boston where gay marriae has been welcome for awhile but I have never even been to Boston and I ran into problems picturing things, and setting things up. Then the issue of gay marriage came up for a vote in Maryland and the more it looked like it was going to pass the more I liked the idea of changing the setting of my book to Baltimore so I did.

   My grandmother always told me "Write what you know, write what you see, write what you love."

   I was born in Balimore and lived there until I was about 5 but I've lived in Maryland my whole life and I decided to set my book in Baltimore and other parts of Maryland. So my characters are going to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and I have been using some of my other favories places around it as well. I'm very glad I switched it feels more real, and more honest.

   After all Good Morning Boston....just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Monday, April 1, 2013

First Day of A to Z: A is for Archangel

  Welcome to day one of my A to Z Adventure!!!

   A is for Archangel

   For my first day I am starting at the beginning where my story began. Back when I was in High School one of my friends and I used to have these Role Play games that we called wars and we would take on persona's that we were from myth or even religion. I took on the persona of Archangel Uriel one time because I felt a kinship to him. Even after we didn't have our little wars anymore I still looked to Uriel for guidance and strength while I was struggling with depression and an abusive mother. Then a few years ago I stumbled across a book all about Uriel, how to talk and communicate with him, what he does, what he is good for and I devoured that book. In the back of it was a section all about other Archangels and the more I read the more I became interested.

    From there I began to form this story all about four college age students who find out they are the children of four of the Archangels. Through this month long A to Z challenge everyone who reads this will get an inside look at my book including characters, places, ideas, and even some of my processes. All I can say is stay tuned and if you have any questions feel free to ask me.

   Sorry this one isn't long but I don't want to give away too much on day 1