Life Is A Highway....Oh Crap Writers Block

  So lately I've been so inspired and I can't even explain why but I can't seem to take that inspiration and channel it into my writing...well not my current chapter.

  I wrote a little one shot fanfic, which FanFiction.net made me edit because their rules are stupid..but I will come back to that. I've even started writing a future chapter from book two because I can't get it out of my head...well also for another reason.

   Recently I got my hope up relationship wise and within the last few days those hopes are gone again. It stings but I'm trying to move on as fast as I can because it isn't worth my time or tears. Still it makes me want to write the major romance in my story. If I can't have a love story of my own then I will live vicariously through my characters so I started to write it when I should be focused on book one. Why? Because unless I finish book one there cannot be a book two!

  So here I am at 4am trying to explain my road block to my blog and I've only ended up frustrating myself more. I want this so badly, I want this story to be told and published I just can't seem to get it out.

  Now as for the FanFiction.net problem...I wrote a Draco and Ginny song fic to the song Home by Michael Buble and it had the lyrics in the fic to help break it up in the right places and so everyone didn't have to look up the lyrics. Well I get a message from someone telling me that it was against the rules and I had to take the lyrics out or face consequences. Okay...first of all if I gave the artist credit what is the problem? People use lyrics and quotes in papers and things all the time they just have to cite it and I did. Second of all what is FanFiction.net really going to do to me?? I could always get a new name republish all my stories and things like that. I fixed it but the story now seems like it's missing something and I think it hurt the short little one shot. I just...I dont...UHHHHHH

  Okay now that I've vented a little and got some of my frustration out I will try to go back to writing. Any encouragement would be wonderful. Thank you all for reading.

More FanFic Talk

  Hello friends,

             I am here because I must get my brain moving somehow. I sat up all night a few days ago writing, and trying to get some work done.

           Well the only work I ended up getting done was on this one shot Draco and Ginny fanfiction that I wrote. Thankfully I got that up and posted and hopefully I'll be starting my second sequel to the most popular  Draco and Ginny story that I've ever posted.

       I really want to post the story on one of the Draco and Ginny fanfiction sites that I used to go to all the time. Sadly to do that I would need a Beta or someone who is better at grammar and picking up on the little nit picky things than I am. Sadly I can't search for one because fanfic's should be my main focus. I should be focused on my own book.....which of course is the problem!

    I lost my point so I am just going to post this and try to write again, but if anyone Beta's or anything please let me know.

A Milestone For Me

  So I know it's not exactly a big deal but I have actually gotten over 1000 views on my blog.

  Never thought I would have more than 3 followers, or get as many views as I have.

  I know it probably sounds really sad, because everyone who reads this probably has a lot more views than that but to me this is actually a milestone.

  So thank you all for viewing, and reading, and caring...even a little.

Z.J.: Yes I Am Fortunate I have a Character With a Z Name

AT LAST

 Z is for Z.J.

   So I go out not with a bang but with a fizzle, but at this point I'm not too heartbroken. I am just very glad that I finished and I can go back to blogging at my convenience .

  Anyway...Z.J. the last of my four but not the least. In fact Z.J. is one of my favorite to write because he does have a childlike aspect to him. He spent his early childhood in an orphanage where everyone was focused on getting adopted, and to get adopted you needed to appeal to people. No one wants a spoiled little child to adopt they want a child that impresses them. Z.J. focused on being well mannered and everyone liking him.

  Then once he was adopted he didn't change too much, his adoptive parents are very quiet and encouraged Z.J.'s love of music and the arts. They got him into the best music and art programs they could and let him have the freedom to decide what he wanted to do, and where his passions were. They do however love the fact that he was well mannered and quiet because that fits in well with their lifestyle.

  Sometimes Z.J. does feel a little uncomfortable because people obviously know that he isn't his parents biological son, he does however speak fluent Spanish having learned from the age of 5 or 6 when he moved in with the Sol family. Still his parents never want him to feel adopted and they are very good at doing that. Z.J. has never for a second felt that his parents don't love him as if he was their child. He is aware however that his parents did lose their biological child before it even had a chance to live so he doesn't want to ever disappoint them.

  So there we have it kids....my A to Z journey has come to a close. I thank you for reading, and following and I will see you again soon.

Yielding: Why I almost gave up the A-Z Challenge

Y is for Yield

  Okay, don't get me wrong I have enjoyed doing the A to Z challenge this month. It has helped me think about the depths of my story, my characters, my setting it's even helped me double my followers.

   However the A to Z challenge has also really confined me in some ways. I have not written anything of my own in almost a month because my brain has been so focused on writing this and coming up with new things. My attention span has been dwindling and I've been unable to focus on anything. It's even a chore for me to get these short little posts over and done with.

  I wake up go to work, come home, try to have a normal life and somewhere along the line I have to remember to write one of these posts. By the time I get home from work I hardly want to do anything at all let alone writing an insignificant post that hardly anyone sees and even less people actually care enough to read.

  It's just really frustrating because I want to finish the challenge but I want to be able to write my own stories. It probably doesn't help that I am stressed out about other things, but usually writing has a way to de-stress and calm me but not recently.

  Sometimes I even think that me doing the A to Z challenge has helped more than hinder. What if after this is over I still can't open my mind enough? When I go back to blogging when I want to and not when I feel like I have to what if my creativity still doesn't come back?

   I've been trying so hard to see this through but it really has hindered me and I will be so happy when this is over. I love to blog...but my way on my own time.

X....No Cute Title for This Either

X is for Xenogenesis

Xenogenesis is a generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent

  First of all let me say I started this post on 4/27 but it won't be posted until 4/28....mostly because I have gotten caught up in the series Once Upon A Time and have been watching that for the past two days. I got home from seeing a play tonight and went "Crap, it's Saturday....I need to do my A to Z post." So here it is.

  A generation of offspring entirely unlike the parent....well that is my four Demi-Angels. Just look at that Demi-Angels....they aren't angels and they aren't human so therefore they are truly on a basic level entirely unlike their parents. They are not humans like their mothers and they are not angels like their fathers. They have power over an element like their fathers but not all of them have their fathers element.

  Marissa has power over water and Uriel has power over Earth, whereas Gabriel is the Water and Gia has power over Earth.

  Also unlike their fathers each of them has another active power. Marissa is telekinetic  Z.J. is telepathic, Penny is a shape shifter, and Gia is an Empath. None of their fathers directly have these powers, yes because they are immortal beings not of this world they can conjure powers they need but none of them have specific powers like their children.

   They also each try so hard to be unlike their mothers, yes they all do a bad job of being unlike them but they do try. Marissa doesn't want to abandon anyone like her mother has, Penny doesn't want to treat anyone like her mother taught her, Gia doesn't want to die like her mother, and Z.J. wants to be strong like his mother wasn't.

   So really there are a lot of shades of  Xenogenesis in my characters.

Women: Hear Me Roar and Such

W is for Women

  One of my favorite quotes

     Yes I write strong female characters, I will never write anything but strong female characters. My female characters stand up for themselves, are in charge of their bodies, their lives, they have strong voices, and they can fight for themselves. Even my female character with all their faults are stronger for them because we all have faults but we can either deny them and let them rule us or use them and control them to our advantage.

   That is what strength truly is, knowing who you are and being better for it. It took me a long time to become comfortable with who I am, to like who I am and once I did I finally was able to believe all the good things that my friends and people around me told me. I know I'm not the best person, I am a bit of a control freak, loud, pushy, obsessive, a know it all, a bisexual girl with no luck in romance, who has mommy issues and abandonment issues. I use those to my advantage, I don't let anyone control my weaknesses because I know what they are. 

  Each of my main female characters is strong for a different reason. Marissa is strong because like me she knows who she is. She also is intelligent and won't let anyone make her feel inferior without her consent. Penny is strong because she likes sex, and enjoys being a women and controlling her own body. She decides when, and where and with who, and she won't let anyone else tell her she can't. She's also fiery and won't let anyone quench that fire. Gia is strong because she won't let anyone force her into something she doesn't want  or that isn't whats best for her. She also won't let anyone else bully another women, or her female friends. 

   Z.J. is also quite the feminist, and yes I am using that word correctly. He respects women, and he looks at his female friends as stronger than most men he has met. The four are on an even playing field and Z.J. doesn't ever treat the three girls like they are anything but his equals. Yes it can be hard for him because he is such an introvert and the three girls are such strong personalities and yes Penny and Gia like to bust his balls a little but never in a condescending way. As many people don't understand feminism isn't about putting men down it's all about equality.

  That my dear followers is why I will write strong female characters. But until we don't need feminism anymore my answer will be just like Joss's.