Fact or Fanfiction

 Hi my name is Samantha, and I write fanfiction


 I know I should probably be ashamed of that sentence but I'm not. I love the fanfictionthatI write and I have some followers who seem to love it too. Don't get me wrong I don't want to turn into the next 50 shades of grey, which for anyone who doesn't know was a Twilight fanfiction that got turned into a novel that should be sold in a brown wrapper. Sorry to anyone who likes the Grey books but I am not a fan, I think it's literary dribble and it also gives fanfiction writers a bad name.

   Fanfiction is meant to be just that, fiction written by fans of the books, nothing more nothing less. I write Harry Potter fanfics because I don't like some of the canon pairings. So I mess with characters and plot while still respecting J.K.'s vision...well most of the time. My most popular fanfiction revolves arouns Harry Potter becoming the villian after the war and Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley ending up together (If anyone is interested I will gladly give you the links).

  People ask me all the time why I write Fanfics and mostly it has to do with how I get inspired. I write fanfic when I need a serious writing boost. Sometimes all it takes is a good review from someone you don't know on the internet to makeyou feel like everything you are doing is worth while. Also, while I'm being honest, when people like my fanfiction it tells me that I am a decent writer, and that maybe this is what I am good with. It's really amazing how excited I get when someone likes what I do with fanfiction and then I start to think if I can do this well with something someone else has already written imagine how well I can do with my own thoughts and material.

  It's late and I think I lost my point....but there you go. I love fanfiction, I read it, I write it, and I will be so excited when people start writing fanfiction about my book!

The Next Big Thing???

   So as anyone else can probably tell with their eyes closed the writing world has trends and it seems like if you don't get your book in at the right time with the right trend it can get lost and maybe not even get the attention it deserves or even get some negative attention later.

   Case in point So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane, it was released over 16 years before the first Harry Potter book came out in the US but people who read it after Harry Potter claimed that it was copying what J.K. had done. Here we see a trend, wizards got a huge popularity boost when the Harry Potter years began and children looking for books like it probably stumbled upon what Ms. Duane had written and just assumed they were inspired by the Harry Potter books even if that wasn't true.

   I guess I'm writing this because of my own fear of the trends. I have begun three books in my writing career and two of them have followed popular trends. The first one I started to write while Lord of the Rings Mania was still sweeping the world. The movies were just coming out and everyone was gobbling up those kinds of books. Sadly it was overworked way too much like LOTR, I was trying too hard and it stalled which I think was for the better. I was in my late middle school and early high school years and I didn't have the talent to be writing something like that. I fully intend to go back to it once I have established a name for myself and maybe have some other things published first.

  The second thing I started to write was a vampire book....while Twilight, and True Blood and the Vampire Diaries were wildly popular in bookstores and in the media. I didn't do it because of those books, I have had a love for vampires since I was about 13, I just had an idea and I went with it. Sadly I realized that by the time I finished and published my book the vampire trend would be over and I would once again have missed my chance at having my book alongside those best sellers that were in the same vein. Once again I plan to go back to this book and maybe start the vampire trend again years down the road. I think my vampire book is a good concept; yes there is a vampire human love story but no one sparkles and I actually take a jab at a lot of vampire pop culture while staying true to the vampires Bram Stoker and Anne Rice created.

   The third and current book I really think could go the distance and the best part is no one has really had a run away smash with my current subject. The Mortal Instruments series has some of the same subject matter, like half Angel children, but I don't think its all that similar and I have a totally different tone than those books. Yes there have been successful books written about Archangels, hell I am almost positive that there are almost no subjects left that have nothing written about them, but none of the books have been as huge as some of the books that sparked huge trends....knock on wood. I am so scared that this trend is going to pop up and I am still going to be plugging away trying to finish my first draft and I will miss my window once again. That thought alone makes me want to quit my job cut myself off from the world and sit alone writing until I am finished so I don't miss what might be my chance to be the next big thing.

   This fear is bigger than my fear that I might not be a good writer, it pretty much trumps any other writing fear I have. I don't need to be the next big thing (though how awesome would that be) I just need to find the right window and climb in. So here I am plugging away knowing that one day I'll find that window and if not maybe another one will be open.

  Okay so my two followers....big news!!!

   First of all....I FINISHED MY POV EDIT!!!!!!

   All the pictures on my tumblr say it best http://ohshinyspecialone.tumblr.com/post/45257830699/so-i-dont-know-if-anyone-wll-understand-how-big

   I am so happy that it is over and done with because now I can move on with my life and my writing.


   Second news is that I have joined the A to Z challenge so I will actually have to blog every day. I plan to blog A to Z using things from my book. So characters, places, situations, things that inspire me, even quotes. Anything that pertains to my book can be open in the A to Z. So stay tuned and maybe my blog will get a little better.

  Okay so the two people who actually read my Blog probably know that I decided to switch my story's POV after I've already written half of my book. Originally I had it written in first person so it was my main character, Marissa, telling the story heself but I realized how limiting that was.

   There are way too many things I want to touch on from each of my characters, and they are thoughts and ideas that the specific characters wouldn't say outloud so I had to find a way to get them out. At first I thought I could just make Marissa have the power to read minds so she could know what she needed to know and then convey that to the readers. Then when I really thought about it and while Marissa is a know it all she would never invade someone's privacy like that. In the end it was better to keep Z.J. as the mind reader is really the better choice because he won't use the power to know anything his friends don't want him to know.

   So then it was switching first person to 3rd which is been a huge pain in my ass. Going through every sentense and finding the I's and changing them to she's and the we's and turning them to they's. I am like 75% of the way done with my POV edit but yet I'll go back and catch a place here and there that I missed and its very furstrating.

  I'm glad I changed POV when I did even if it is a thorn in my side because you can explore so many more characters and their thoughts and ideas when you are in 3rd person. As a main character Marissa (much like the person she is based on...me) likes to be the center of attention so the last thing she really needs is to be is the narrator as well as the main character of the story.

  SPOILERS AHEAD BE WARNED!!!!!!

  When Penny finds out her mother is dead we need to be able to see inside her head and know how she's feeling and how she handles things.

  When Lily is resisting joining her friends in their quest to save the world the reader needs to know why, not just Rissa's guess as to why

  When Z.J. gets his first taste of something other than living a loner life of music and hard core rehearsing everyone needs to be able to understand how happy he is to get more of a life.

  Writing in 3rd person I think will open a lot more doors to my story. Right now I am just trying to get the POV done so I can finish my first draft but I think when I do my first full round of edits it will be a lot easier to expand on the ideas I already began to build. So right now I just have to power through it all and get the last chunk done.

  Little engine that could time...I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!!

Midnight Writing

   I remember sitting in this place when I was more new to the world. Back then 24 seemed like a lifetime away to a girl of 10 with her whole life ahead of her. Now as I sit in this same familiar spot 14 years later I long to grasp onto the child that ran away from me too fast. Depression and an abusive mother made me grow up before my time; suicidal thoughts by the time I hit middle school, in therapy with diagnosed clinical depression before high school, multiple attempts on my own life, cutting and self harm have all lead me here. Down a path no one can prepare you for and few people come back from, I've been treading that path for longer than I care to think about and all I have to show for it is my life. I was one of the lucky ones...I came back. Not every teen who deals with these issues can say the same, their voices silenced at their own hands. Often times people who think they are helping just hurt more, and some people try to help when they shouldn’t. I always made it very clear to my friends that if I ask you for help or advice give it to me, but if I am telling you what’s wrong I am just venting. I learned how to protect myself a little more, while still being open to love and life. I made it to 24 when the world seemed to fall all around me, but it sure as hell wasn't just because of me. There are people in my life who all but hauled my ass out of despair and back into the real world.

    Lisa, Laura, Fergy, Jess, Jenny, Jordan, Emily, Brock, Steph, Allison, Sam, Addie, Kirby, Maggie and more recently Ashley and Sarah...you all are pieces to the puzzle of why I am still here. Some are bigger than others but all of them are important to me. If I haven't thanked you before I am thanking you now. I know some of you won't read this, and some of you that do won't care because we've drifted and are no longer a part of each other’s lives but thank you just the same. You were the friends who held my hand and wiped away my tears in High School. You are the therapist that I am going to owe money to one day for all the times you listened to me, and cared about me. It was the late night chats over the internet that made me think twice about what I was about to do. It was the sleepovers and Bitchfests, the countless meals, junk food, and alcohol that got me through it. It was you caring about me when it seemed like no one else did, you reaching out to me when no one else would, you standing by my side when everyone else was turning their backs on me. If we have lost contact I am sorry because every person I named has truly been a blessing in my life and I thank you again for what you did for me. Something like this, written at midnight while I wander the streets outside isn’t enough of a thank you but then again very few words I write could say all I need to. So to all of you I give my love, my thanks, an open invitation back into my life and a special place in my heart and memory forever.

     So what would make a relatively sane women sit in the cold at the end of January in just leggings a short sleeve T-shirt and a hoodie? Let me tell you… the relatively sane person can't answer that. I was looking for some clarity and here on a raised sewage drain sticking out of the hill at my elementary school I have found it before but tonight it eludes me. I look at the stars, feel the cold starting to numb my fingers and take another breath. Maybe the clarity I am searching for is closer than I realize. I just need to remember that I am still alive, and I have plenty of my life left to live. I keep thinking that losing a job I hated is the end of the world, but if I have some patience and give it some time everything will be okay, because it always is. That thought is enough to keep me going, to get me through to tomorrow, the realization that I have more time to make mistakes.

      Its cold, I glance once more out over the fields and at the stars and get up from my perch. My legs are numb as I walk away but as I do I realize I'm not crying anymore which is a step in the right direction. I glide along the asphalt sea towards the school, mirroring steps I took as a girl. I see the number 1997 on the building, its first year. I was 8, in 3rd grade, I would be able to find my old rooms in an instant, most people would see that as an inability to let go I see it as cataloging where I've been. The relentless march of time never ends and so I just try to hold on while not letting go of the important things that have helped to shape me.

       I walk toward where I live, the house that stopped being home a long time ago and breathe in the ice like night air. That is what I told my parents after all that I was going out for air, so I might as well get my fill before I am once again surrounded by the reality of my circumstance. I walk slowly head back taking in the moon and the clear sky and as I reach my front porch another moment of clarity.

     I may not know where the hell I am going but you better believe I know where I've been.

Character Profile: Z.J.

Zephyr Jason Sol (Birth Surname: Aston)

Nicknames: Z.J., Z

Powers: Power over air, Healing ability, Mind reading

Weapon: Bow and Arrow

Special Skills: Musical Prodigy

Physical Appearance: If he hadn’t automatically been thrust into the ‘friend zone’ Marissa, Lily and Penny would all agree that Z.J. is the perfect guy inside and out. He is the tallest person in the group, at six foot one, with dirty blonde hair that curls when he doesn’t try to take care of it. Z.J. is the cute type of guy that everyone loves, he has a great smile with deep blue eyes and pale skin and an average build makes him the type of boy that girls want but not unapproachable. Being trained in music from the time he was a toddler Z.J. isn’t the biggest or the strongest, in fact Lily isn’t sure he has any tone or muscle at all. Still Z.J. is handsome, sweet, and everything anyone could want in a guy.

Personality: Z.J. is the textbook Libra of the group and it is good that he is because with all the emotion the girls bring to the party they need a diplomatic kind of person in the mix. Much like his sign he is charming, easygoing, and peaceable; he is able to look impartially at issues but one of his faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval. This wasn’t helped by the approval and attention he got being a musical prodigy, or the only child of parents who wanted nothing more than to have a child. If Marissa is the smart one than Z.J. is the artsy one, more artistic than intelligent but smart enough to get into Hopkins as an Art History major. His parents instilled him with a love of all beauty but especially beauty in the arts which he has a deep love of.

  While being a Libra makes him more sensible and levelheaded than the girls it also makes him indecisive, sometimes timid and an impatience of routine. Z.J. likes to be as free as the wind that he has control over, doing what he pleases when he pleases so the schedule of school, work and training sometimes can really get him down. Still he is very personable until you get him angry; it takes quite a lot but when Z.J. is angry he can be a storm of rage, and he will not let you get away until he has let you know just how displeased he is. He also has a tendency to be a bit extravagant and impulsive, spending money on things he enjoys or simply wants.

   Z.J. has been traveling all over the United States since he was around ten, giving concerts, and sitting in with orchestras all over the country. He was homeschooled until his parents settled down in Michigan so he could go to Interlochen where he studied music and every instrument he could get his hands on. When it came time for college he shocked his parents when he told them he wanted to go to Johns Hopkins University to major in History of Art and minor in Music so he could be more well rounded. Z.J. wants to be a champion of the arts and save them in a world that thinks art, music, drama, and other programs like that don’t benefit children. Yet if he can’t do something like that he would be a musician or even and art dealer.  

  Relationships:

Marissa: Z.J. always gets along well with Marissa, and he is always thankful that she is willing to defend him against the other two girls who sometimes like to pick on him, or don’t understand him but even they can disagree. They can be two totally different people especially in regards to routines, schedules, and school. Marissa likes structure, and rules, and order and Z.J. is happy to go where the moment, or the wind, or the fates take him. Most of the time the two see each other as good balance but sometimes Marissa wishes Z.J. wasn’t so naive and unwilling to take things more seriously and Z.J. wishes Marissa would loosen up and let the control go a little. Still they are very close, Z.J. is able to tell Marissa things he can’t tell anyone else, and they understand each other very well nine times out of ten, but that last time…take cover.

Lily: Z.J. wants to get close to Lily but most of the time she won’t let him, and because he knows that she teases him to cover up her own uncertainty he does his best to laugh it off. Z.J. is able to laugh at himself better than anyone else so Lily’s ribbing can easily roll of his back, most of the time. It takes a lot to get Z.J. mad but once he is, he isn’t afraid to tell Lily or anyone else exactly what he thinks. He trusts Lily just as she trusts him, and they are both similar in the way they handle their emotions. However Lily is puzzled by Z.J. and he isn’t exactly in a hurry to explain everything to her. He likes leaving everyone in the dark a little when it comes to all his secrets, and because he knows how much it frustrates Lily he always keeps her questioning things. Still the two are good friends and become best friends.

Penny: Z.J. and Penny make a funny pair; he makes her laugh and she thinks of him as the only guy in her life she can have a totally platonic relationship with. At first Penny finds Z.J. attractive enough but he is too shy and quiet for her nature, and Z.J. automatically knew that Penny was going to be just a friend. They get along well, Z.J. loves that Penny doesn’t like to be tied down but at the same time sometimes she is even to wild for his taste. Z.J. also is smart enough to stay out of Penny’s issues with Lily, and leaves that to Marissa mostly because he doesn’t want anyone to think he is taking sides. Z.J. just wants everyone to be as happy as possible at all times and that is something Penny admires him for. Much like with the rest of the group Penny and Z.J. grow very close and each bring their own brand of crazy energy to the Demi-Angel family.

 

 

Can I just say how much of a pain it is to realize that I have to switch POV's on a story I've already written half of.

  My Archangel story is about half way written and now I realize that it will be better if it is written in 3rd person not 1st person from Marissa's POV. So I was looking at something I had written recently and trying to switch over the POV and just pulling my hair out trying to make sure I got it switched and it didn't sound weird or stupid.

  There are times where I'm going "Why do I need to switch POV at all?" and the answer is quite simple. I have four central characters who each have a different personality and way of looking at things that happen to them. Marissa can't know what everyone else is thinking. I could switch her power of telekentics with Z.J.'s power to read minds but I dont want to do that because I thought out each character's powers and matched them with their personality so Marissa needs to keep her power.

  So a part of my editing process that I am not looking forward to is switching POV for my story. I tried on this little blip and if anyone reads this they can tell me what they think.

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Once things settled back into a routine again Penny got better day by day. Everyone could all still see the sadness behind the smile more often then not but she was taking everything one day at a time. The most welcome change, in Marissa’s eyes at least, was the new attitude Penny had toward Lily, and vise versa. Marissa found it very nice to be able to watch them talk, or share a story without having to be the buffer between the two.
　
So things settled down a little. The group had their schedules that they stuck to during the week, while they treasured their weekends that were mostly spent at the club and Marissa’s house. Eli and Rico got closer to Penny and Z.J. by the day until the boys considered them as dear as family, just the way they did with Lily. Z.J. and Penny were invited to the wedding over the summer as was Lily, and they were all looking forward to it. One day Rissa realized that her brother and Rico hadn’t even met M.T. and if the group was going to avoid questions down the line it would be better to introduce him now. Eli had heard them talk about him so often that he finally wanted to meet the mysterious teacher who his sister and her friends spent so much time with. So, true to character, Marissa decided to throw a little dinner party at their house on campus and invited her brother, Rico and Mr. Voix. At first the four Demi-Angels were all nervous to see what would transpire between our guests, but M.T. charmed the two younger men quickly and the night went off without a hitch.
Rissa smiled to herself thinking about that night as she absentmindedly gazed at the clock, only a half hour till she was off of work, which meant that Penny was due to arrive any second. The groups work schedules fit together almost too perfectly. Penny was the first to get off work at the student union then she would come to the library and wait for Marissa to get off, then the two of them would head to the gym and get Lily who would come with us to the music and arts building where they would pick up Z.J. and then they would all walk across campus to the house together. Once home the group would eat dinner together, train, work on their homework and then go to bed so they could repeat the next day.
"Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find a book on heaven and hell?" a voice addressed Marissa.
As she looked up, Rissa opened her mouth to direct the person toward the books they were in search of but when she locked onto the prettiest pair of gray eyes she had ever seen, she stopped. The boy in front of her was one of the most attractive ones Marissa had encountered in a long time, and the girl hung around gay men on a daily basis. He was maybe a few inches shy of six feet, with very light brown hair, and a crooked but sweet smile that was being directed toward her as she stared at him. Marissa tore her eyes away and tried to recover.
"Fiction or Non-Fiction?" she asked.
"Non," he replied. "I’m writing a paper for my religion class and my teacher bases his grades only on tests and papers so this needs to be good."
"Mr. Voix?" Marissa asked, recognizing his standards.
"Yea, how did you know?" he smiled at her again.
"I have him for my religion 101 class and he teaches all his classes the same way. My friends and I have gotten pretty close to him this year."
The young man nodded. "I did my freshman year too, which is why I’m taking one of his more advanced classes as a junior. I understand, I liked having him as a teacher too Marissa."
She was about to ask how he knew her name when she remembered that she was wearing a name tag so Marissa stopped before she made herself look any more ridiculous then she already did.
"It’s nice to meet another student who likes M.T. as much as we do." the young women laughed a little, trying to recover.
"M.T.?" he looked a little confused.
As soon as he asked that Marissa realized her mistake.
"Mr. Toulouse," She smiled, poker face firmly in place. "Like I said we’ve gotten very close to him."
He just nodded and Rissa decided to cut her losses now or risk further putting her foot into her mouth.
"All of the books on Heaven and Hell are shelved together in the Religion section. Straight back against the far right-hand wall."
"Thanks Marissa," he smiled one last time and walked away, passing Penny as he went to find what he was looking for.
"Oh, he was hot," Penny whispered as she came right up to the desk. "Who was he?"
"I have no idea," Marissa was still staring longingly after him. "But he’s a junior in one of M.T.’s more advanced classes so I’ll have to ask him."
Penny smiled at her friend a little. "Rissa, you are so cute. Going all the way to M.T. to try and get what you want. I’ll find out his name and, if my record is any indication, maybe a little more then that."
As she walked away Marissa thought about protesting; claiming she had dibs, that she saw him first, or for her to ‘back all up off my man’....but even in the fantasy world Marissa lived in, up in her head, that sounded stupid. So Marissa just watched Penny closely trying to study her technique, how she made heads turn, how it was easy to tell that every guy wanted her. Riss watched her briefly chat with the mysterious man but he didn’t seem interested and before long Penny came stomping back to where the older girl was in a huff.
"Well clearly he’s gay," she threw her hands up a little.
"I don’t know Pen," Marissa tried not to be delighted at her best friends failure. "We hang around an awful lot of gay men and he seemed straight to me."
She gave Rissa a death glare and they both knew the subject was closed. "Come on Marissa, I just want to go home."
The two left the library quickly picking up Lily and Z.J. both in turn before making their way to the house which was clear across campus from where they were all working. As they walked Marissa had to hold her tongue as Penny recounted, a very blown out of proportion and slightly untrue, account of her mishap in the library.
"Well I guess that’s how we know Penny’s better," Lily rolled her eyes. "She’s back onto the first hot guy she sees again."
"Hey," she turned to Lily, her eyes starting to turn red in anger. "Just because I know what I want and go after it doesn’t mean a thing!"

"Both of you stop," Marissa insisted. "I thought we were past all this!"
"Oh come on Marissa," Z.J. looked at me. "The day these two fully give up going after each other is the day that nothing is wrong with the world."
The group passed into silence and continued to walk towards home. Knowing that the subject of men, flirting, and romance had soured any good mood the four of them had been in. Each of them knew how the other Demi-Angels felt about falling in love, and it was a subject none of them would ever agree on. Lily refused to even get close to liking someone enough to justify a relationship, or feelings. She knew the complications that existed in our lives were because our mothers fell in love, and our fathers had a human moment while on earth. The few times she had sex were one night stands with no strings, or sometimes even hook ups with guy friends she knew didn’t want anything else from her. Lily had never seen anything good come of falling in love, and in fact she didn’t think the Demi-Angels should be allowed to love at all, at least romantically.
Penny was just a gigantic flirt when it came to men. She dangled just enough of her feelings out there for them and when things got too close she broke it off. She toyed with men almost as a game to avoid getting hurt, or hurting someone. Most of the men she enticed fit into her plan well, they were college boys usually sophomores, but sometimes the occasional freshmen, or even a junior when she was feeling daring. She stayed away from any and all seniors for fear that one of them would be looking for a more substantial relationship and her aloof approach would do her no good. At least if she did leave a scar on a man it was shallow and easily healed and that was the way Penny liked it.
Z.J. was a source of constant frustration for Lily and Penny because neither of them could figure him out. Despite almost daily hounding from at least one of the two Z.J. refused to tell us if he even liked women...or men for that matter. Marissa knew that when he wanted to, he would tell them, but even she was rather curious to find out why he hid his preference so well. Penny was sure he was gay, Lily thought he might be asexual, and Rissa just tried to keep the two of them at bay when it came to bugging the only male member of their group. Marissa often silenced the girls with "If he wasn’t gay before, hanging out with this much estrogen has probably turned him." She knew that wasn’t a possibility but it kept them quiet nonetheless. Z.J. was just very glad he was the one with the power to read someone else’s mind otherwise none of his secrets would be safe.
Then there was Marissa...she was the hopeless romantic of the group. She had actually seen a functioning relationship growing up between Eli and Rico and Marissa envied that. Even the childhood sweetheart love she had felt for Nathan had only made her want to really fall in love. Rissa had spent most of her life believing that it would never happen to her; she wasn’t the type of girl boys wanted. One of Eli’s employees at the club, a straight man among gay ones trying to prove he was a macho, had even gone so far as to call her Un-datable, for which he was promptly fired by my brother as the rest of the staff jumped to her defense. Marissa had received some bad genes that Trista West claimed came from Marissa’s grandfather and had skipped her generation. Rissa’s grandfather had passed away when she was still young and she didn’t remember much about him except he was a fat, not very tall man who was none the less imposing and scared the crap out of the little girl.
Marissa had always been a girl with curves, too many for her own liking or, so it seemed, anyone else’s, but she had never wanted to be as twig thin as Penny was. Rissa liked having tits and an ass but she did wish both were smaller, along with almost ever other part of her body. In the few months since our trainers had begun to show up however she had started to slim down. Instead of putting on the freshmen fifteen like most of the people around them, the Demi-Angels were toning up or in Marissa’s case shrinking little by little. She had begun to fit into clothes that hadn’t fit for a few years and it made her happier than she would express to anyone except maybe Z.J. Penny wouldn’t understand and Lily always looked at her like she was crazy for caring what everyone else thought of her looks. Marissa’s confidence was only going up which meant that maybe one day soon she could be the women she had always appeared to be; strong from the inside out.

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Leave me a comment to let me know how it was.